Day 18: A picture of your biggest insecurity

in-se-cure

[in-si-kyoor] 

–adjective

1. subject to fears, doubts, etc.; not self-confident or assured: an insecure person.

2. not confident or certain; uneasy; anxious: He was insecure about the examination.

3. not secure; exposed or liable to risk, loss, or danger: an insecure stock portfolio.

4. not firmly or reliably placed or fastened: an insecure ladder.

I guess that would make my biggest insecurity my future. I know I've got a couple years before I graduate but I get nervous about what I'm going to do after that all the time. Interior Design is a very limited field of study. There's a handful of career paths I can take and a ton of people vying for every position out there.  Sometimes I second guess myself, is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life? Is this what God is calling me to do with my life? Then I wonder if I'm second guessing myself because I'm nervous, nervous that I could fail, or that I could succeed more than I ever imagined. This quote always comes to mind when I think about my future:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

And I cant think of this quote without thinking of this scene from the movie Coach Carter:

So yes my future scares me, it crosses my mind constantly, but I know that God is there for me and that He knows the path that is best for me to take and I have to trust that He's preparing for me a future I can't even imagine. I'm reminded of that constantly, so here are a few verses from the New American Bible that help me when I feel just a little too insecure:

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 19:21 - Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the decision of the LORD that endures.

Romans 8:28 - We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

Psalm 37:37 - Observe the honest, mark the upright; those at peace with God have a future.

Proverbs 23:17-19 - Let not your heart emulate sinners, but be zealous for the fear of the LORD always; For you will surely have a future, and your hope will not be cut off. Hear, my son, and be wise, and guide your heart in the right way.

1 Corinthians 2:9 - But as it is written: "What eye has not seen, and ear has not heard, and what has not entered the human heart, what God has prepared for those who love him,"