They've Opened Up, Unsure They Can Trust

So, I've recently become obsessed with the movie Burlesque. Mostly it's the music that draws me in, the soul in Christina Aguilera's voice gives me goosebumps. But there's this part, this part that just really bothered me about the 5th time I watched it. Christina's character and the male lead have just hooked up and this song comes on: 

I had to put my two cents in on the lines that just really irked me. Feel free to do the same!

I've opened up, unsure I can trust

Well duh! Of course you're unsure you can trust him. You're not married to him, so it's very possible that he could use you and lose you, but you're still so very willing to give him everything that you have. Marriage allows you to trust, you've already made the vows, you're in it for life, you have to trust.

If you walk away I will suffer tonight

It's a very realistic fear because of our society's view of how 'casual' sex is. But if it were truly that casual there wouldn't be suffering when it ends badly. I don't suffer when I've gone to a movie and the movie ends. That is casual.

I am bound to you

Because the act of sex binds you to another person. Sex is a promise, one that's supposed to be made in marriage, saying that you give yourself to this other person completely. An act bound in the hopes of a child. Bound in that child. So it's true, you are bound to them, but you're bound to them without a promise and that's a scary thing.
 

Please don't tear this apart

Also a very reasonable fear if you're not committed to this person in marriage. You shouldn't have to beg the person you're with not to tear it apart.

It makes me really sad to realize that this truly is how we view having sex with someone. It's such a personal act yet a lot of people don't treat it that way and they end up scared, hurt, suffering. Oh if there were one thing that I could get across to this generation, my generation, it would be that they are worth so much more than their bodies. And if they would only wait, there is so much more out there for them that they just can't see yet. There's fear and hurt and suffering that can be avoided by following God's will. But more than that there's true joy and love.

Be a Witness in All things

So we lost, 9-15. 
Second co-ed intramural softball game of the season. 
Life doesn't get much better than playing softball with my favorite people from St.Lawrence.
Our record is now 1-1. 
We were tied at 9 going in to the last inning and the other team turned up the heat. 
So the game ended. 
Our 10+ fans (that's about 10+ more than the other team had) clapped and cheered because that's what you do, even if you lose. 
We gathered our stuff out of the dugout, circled up and took a knee. 
Talked about the goods (the girls were hitting the crud out of the ball) 
The not so goods (base running/shaky defense).
Then we called over our 'Super-Athletic Chaplain' and gave a little glory to God and reverence to Our Blessed Mother. 
And it just felt right.

Our Lady of Victory, Pray for us! 

The Greatest Voice God Uses May Be Your Own

I promised her a shout out, but I'm almost certain she wasn't expecting an entire post about her: Hi Lillie!


I saw my friend Lillie the other day! Yeah, that story isn't so great. 


Lillie was my neighbor in our all girls dorm my freshman year. We both hated that dorm and neither of us were particularly fond of our roommates although hers was light years better than mine was. (What is it with me and roommates?) Lillie was the best neighbor I've ever had. There was no point in locking our doors when we were home because every 5-10 minutes or so one of us would be visiting the other. Lillie was supportive of my being involved in St.Lawrence and although she wasn't Catholic or particularly religious she never once thought less of me because of it. Now I don't know this for sure but I'd like to think that she respected me more for it. I'd go to daily mass occasionally and leave her for hours and hours on end Sunday evenings to go to Mass, Sunday supper and classes. 


So back to my story...I saw Lillie the other day at a KU baseball game on Friday night. I was there with a big group of friends from St.Lawrence and I thought I saw her on the other side of the bleachers. I creeped on her for awhile until I realized I was being creeped on right back. That pretty well describes our relationship. 


I don't get to see Lillie a lot anymore, we're both busy doing our own things, which is great. But thank GOD for social networking. Lillie and I have the ability to 'creep' on each other all the time thanks to Facebook and Twitter.


God uses all of us in unique ways in every different facet of life. If we're lucky enough, He let's us see how He's using us. 


Lillie made her way over to chat after the baseball game and we caught up a little and then she mentioned that she'd been reading my blog, this very one you're reading right now. I guess I don't truly know how serious she meant this when she said it but the words are still ringing in my ears. She re-mentioned that she's not Catholic or very religious and then added:

 'but it makes me believe in Jesus'

And then it hits you like a ton of bricks. This blog isn't mine, it's His. It's His way of using me.

Painfully Aware

I've been trying to decide for awhile how I should address this issue.  It's been on my mind a lot lately but I just couldn't find the right #fromacatholicdaughter way to go about it. That is, until I ran across this letter from Archbishop Sheehan from the Diocese of Santa Fe. So instead of trying to find my own way to rewrite what he has so truthfully written, I'm posting the link and copying the letter below. Here you go!

April 3, 2011
Pastoral Care of Couples Who are Cohabitating

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

We are all painfully aware that there are many Catholics today who are living in cohabitation. The Church must make it clear to the faithful that these unions are not in accord with the Gospel, and to help Catholics who find themselves in these situations to do whatever they must do to make their lives pleasing to God.

First of all, we ourselves must be firmly rooted in the Gospel teaching that, when it comes to
sexual union, there are only two lifestyles acceptable to Jesus Christ for His disciples: a single life of chastity, or the union of man and woman in the Sacrament of Matrimony. There is no “third way” possible for a Christian. The Bible and the Church teaches that marriage is between one man and one woman and opposes same sex unions.

We have three groups of people who are living contrary to the Gospel teaching on marriage:
those who cohabit; those who have a merely civil union with no previous marriage; and those who have a civil union who were married before. These people are objectively living in a state of mortal sin and may not receive Holy Communion. They are in great spiritual danger. At the best - and this is, sadly, often the case - they are ignorant of God’s plan for man and woman. At the worst, they are contemptuous of God’s commandments and His sacraments.

Of these three groups, the first two have no real excuse. They should marry in the Church or separate. Often their plea is that they “cannot afford a church wedding” i.e. the external trappings, or that “what difference does a piece of paper make?” - as if a sacramental covenant is nothing more than a piece of paper! Such statements show religious ignorance, or a lack of faith and awareness of the evil of sin.

The third group, those who were married before and married again outside the Church, can seek a marriage annulment and have their marriage blest in the Church. Please remember that divorce still is no reason to refrain from Holy Communion as long as they have not entered into another marriage or sinful relationship. Many Catholics are confused on this point.

Christ our Lord loves all these people and wishes to save them - not by ignoring their sin, or calling evil good, but by repentance and helping them to change their lives in accordance with His teaching. We, as His Church, must do the same. In accord with this, I would remind you of the following:

1. People in the above three situations cannot receive the Sacraments, with the important exception of those who agree to live chastely (“as brother and sister”) until their situation is regularized. Of course, those in danger of death are presumed to be repentant.

2. These people may not be commissioned as Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion, not only because of scandal, but even more because one commits the sin of sacrilege by administering a Sacrament in the state of mortal sin.

3. Nor are such people to be admitted to the role of sponsor for Baptism or Confirmation, as is clearly stated on the Archdiocesan Affidavit for a Sponsor. It is critical for the sponsor to be a practicing Catholic - and can anyone be seriously called a practicing Catholic who is not able to receive the sacraments because they are living in sin?

4. When it comes to other parish ministries and organizations, I feel it best to leave these situations to the judgment of the pastor. Prudence is needed, avoiding all occasions of scandal. We must see their involvement in the parish as an opportunity to work urgently to bring such people to repentance and the regularization of their lifestyle.

5. Many of these sins are committed out of ignorance. I ask that our pastors preach on the gravity of sin and its evil consequences, the 6th and 9th Commandments of God, and the sacramental nature and meaning of Christian marriage. Our catechetical programs in our parishes - children, youth, and adult – must clearly and repeatedly teach these truths.

A Church wedding does not require some lavish spectacle and entertainment costing vast sums of money (Indeed, how often we have seen the most costly weddings end in divorce in but a few months or years!). While beauty and joy should surround a Christian wedding, we must remind everyone that it is a sacrament, not a show.

6. Those who are married outside the Church because of a previous union are urged to seek an annulment through our Marriage Tribunal. If it can be found that the first marriage lacked some essential quality for a valid marriage, the Tribunal can grant an annulment. Your pastor can help someone start a marriage case for this purpose. It is important for such couples to continue to pray and get to Mass even though they may not receive Communion, until their marriage can be blest in the Church.

Our popular American culture is often in conflict with the teachings of Jesus and His Church. I urge especially young people to not cohabitate which is sinful, but to marry in the Church and prepare well for it.

I congratulate and thank those thousands of Catholic married couples who role model the Sacrament of Marriage according to the teachings of Jesus and his Church.

Sincerely yours in the Risen Lord,
Most Rev. Michael J. Sheehan
Archbishop of Santa Fe

Papa B.'s Birthday Novena

JUST in case you haven't heard yet:

We as Catholics have been asked to pray 84,000 novena's for the Pope's 84th Birthday! Also in case you aren't sure what a novena is, it's simply saying one specific prayer for 9 days in a row. This novena will end in 9 days on Papa B.'s 84th birthday!

Today is the first day of the novena for the Pope! Are you ready to pray?
Let's pray together specifically for his intentions today. Let us pray that his wisdom and guidance of the Church is rooted always in an unshakeable faith in Jesus Christ. Join me in this gift of 9 days of prayer for our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI!

Novena Prayers

Lord, source of eternal life and truth, give to your shepherd, Benedict XVI, a spirit of courage and right judgment, a spirit of knowledge and love. By governing with fidelity those entrusted to his care, may he, as successor to the Apostle Peter and the Vicar of Christ, build your Church into a sacrament of unity, love and peace for all the world

[Insert your personal petitions for the Pope here]

Let us pray for Benedict, the pope.

May the Lord preserve him,
give him a long life,
make him blessed upon the earth,
and not hand him over
to the power of his enemies.

May your hand be upon your holy servant.
And upon your son, whom you have anointed.

Our Father …

Hail Mary …

Glory Be …

Amen.

There's Something Missing

Yesterday was Thursday and the first time that I saw my roommate all week, which as you may very well know was fine by me.

She recently confided in me that she had gotten in a fight with her dad over the amount of money she had been spending on things that didn't matter at school. I of course, sided with the dad on this one. Eating out 3 times a day when you've already paid for food through school, driving a mile out of your way to get a drink from QuikTrip before every class and making it a habit to spend upwards of $50 at Target every other day is grounds for my strong opinion on that.

When she came home yesterday toting 3 shopping bags I just had to turn around and roll my eyes. The words that continued out of her mouth went something like this (my thoughts in quotations):

I've had the worst week ever, I had to go to the hospital because there's something wrong with my back so now I'm on a bunch of medication. So that's why I haven't been here all week because I've been at home because that bed's more comfortable. I crashed my car and now I'm gonna have to get it fixed next week so I won't be able to drive all next week because it'll be in the shop(as the roommate in this situation I'm really looking forward to that, not. I may just have to find somewhere else to be all next week). My boyfriend (of like 3 weeks) broke up with me (for like the 3rd time) and so I went out and bought a new pair of high heels(she's not supposed to wear heels because she had surgery on her foot) a new outfit, and hair dye so that I could 'get him back' but I'm gonna make him work for it(yeah like she made him work for everything else?).

And I just couldn't help but think to myself; There is something missing in this girls life, and it's actually quite sad. What can you do when you see someone who doesn't know their own selfworth? Someone who reduces themselves to who their boyfriend is at the time, what they can buy or what they can do to make themselves a hotter commodity? In a trying time in her life like this week, when everything under the sun seemed to be going wrong she turned to material things. But how much more comforted would she feel if she turned to God? For Him to hold her in His arms and be reassured that everything woud be just fine. Christ loves her just as she is. Christ loves her a heck of a lot more than I even like her. But I guess that's the beautiful thing. I just wish she could see it, I want her to know how much she is loved just because she is her. She doesn't need to buy new outfits and dye her hair. She doesn't need cheetah print high heels, a fixed car or even a boyfriend because no matter what happens, no matter what she does, Christ will always love her.

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.

ACE

As I've blogged about before I'm not a huge fan of the animal kingdom. But even I, the non-lover of animals, have fallen for a few. 

Until recently I can't remember a time where our family didn't have a dog, and I mean at least one. Growing up we had greyhounds and then the greyhounds had more greyhounds and for a second there I thought we were running a racetrack. Those dogs although fun to run around with were never truly my pets.

Johnny was the first dog I think I truly considered my pet. I was pretty young throughout his whole life so I don't remember much about him except that he was a short fat little beagle whom I loved. I remember thinking that I hadn't seen Johnny for awhile and then someone in my family telling me that they didn't think he would be coming back. That was rough because I was experiencing my first pet loss.

Ace!

Then came Ace, the little doggy light of my life. I remember getting him and he was just a puppy, I'd slip him into my tutu's and carry him around in a wicker basket. I'd let him chew on my jelly sandals and love him to the max. Ace was always there. He was in the yard waiting for you when you were driving home and he was at the door waiting for you when you'd come outside. He'd retrieve countless numbers of softballs that were over/underthrown so that we didn't have to. Ace was my tanning partner on my roof in the middle of the summer and my walking companion because there was no way you were gonna catch me walking alone in the country! (I've seen those snakes and I hear those coyotes at night, don't think that I don't!)

Ace was the dream dog, the worst thing I ever remember him doing is dragging his 'hunt' into the yard (talk about gross!). I loved to look out on the deck and see Ace curled up in the shade sleeping and our cat curled up on top of Ace sleeping. He was a lover. When Ace died this past summer it was extremely hard on our whole family.

My oldest brother Jeremy with Ace

When I started writing this I had no intention of tying it to God. But in reality everything is tied to Him. He is at the center of all that is good. Not that I'm trying to say that God is like my dog, but reminiscing on my memories with Ace I'm reminded of how God is always with us.

Just as Ace waited for me to drive into the driveway, get out of my car and followed me until I got in the house and then ran to the window to watch from the inside so does God. He is always there waiting for me to come home, to come home to Him.

When Ace knew that I was about to go inside and stop petting him and playing with him and leave him he'd give you that look. You know? That look; that 'stay with me a little longer, I love you, I want to play with you!' look. I imagine that that's the way our Lord looks at us when we leave Him. He wants to be with us and it fills Him with joy when we choose to be with Him.

When I would go inside, even if it were for 5 minutes, once I opened that door and stepped outside again it was like Ace was having a party for my return. He was so happy to see me and he'd long forgotten about my leaving him. It's a lot like the Parable of the Prodigal Son. The prodigal son left his father and wasted everything that he had given him. When the son returned the father wasn't angry at him but rejoiced that his son was back and threw a party. Our Lord loves that we spend time with him. And even though sometimes we leave Him, He is always ready to welcome us back with open arms. He loves us unwaveringly and that is enough.

My older brother Russ with Ace and Tyler