Healing for the 21st century sin

I haven't blogged in awhile but this video/poem was just SO worth sharing.

This man is killing on #fsdub, if only everyone could hold this view.

Sexual HEALING.

So lets look at the subject
I'm a tell you why I'm disgusted
So tonight looks like sex will be our topic of discussion
Now see sex isn't evil for marriage is why God made it
But I know you're like come on man that's too outdated
This is 2011 bro we do it for recreation
And hey if you're in college you do it while your wasted
But I wanna question this logic I wanna pop off the seal
I wanna question something that we think is already a done deal
So take a rape victim for example and once it's revealed
When her bruises go away is she totally healed
Nah the damage is lasting you can see it in her eyes
But if it was just a view as recreation why did it ruin her life
I mean if sex is just for fun why does it take such a toll
Maybe it's cause you don’t just have sex with a body you have sex with a soul
Which means for me there ain't no premarital lovin
And it ain't just cause I don't want a baby in the oven
Its cause I'm staying pure until the day that I'm a husband
But see this wasn't always me that's a guarantee
Lets go back in the past see who I used to be
Now growing up I never learned how to treat a lady
If I learned one thing from my dad it was leave the mom ditch the baby
Now I don't say that to get sympathy I say that to be real
Cause according to stats about 40 percent of you know how that feels
So I let the TV show me what the music already told me
No dad at home so I was letting mtv mold me
And they sold me which is why my life revolved around what girl I could get next
My life revolved around this girl named sex
Shoot I'd get at her on the text but I gotta confess
It seemed the longer we dated the bigger the mess
But then my girlfriend was late on that time of the month
If you know what I mean you understand when I say my heart sunk
I started to think about abortion man I started to butter it up
But its funny they don't make condoms for sin you can't just cover it up
It was just a scare but I knew a father I didn't wanna be
Its funny how I was prolife until it happened to me
So dudes think twice before you desire her just cause she's hott
Cause the truth is your body makes a promise whether you do or not
Sorry I digressed though lets get back to the topic
And there's some dudes who pressure her even when she says stop it
You're not a man you're just a boy that can shave and put on a good cover
Cause if you don't respect her when she says no you certainly don't love her
So how bout you start studying her heart stop studying her booty
Or maybe invest the same amount of time in her as you do in call of duty
Cause what makes you think you can get this girl and all of a sudden get naughty
Cause you should have to touch her heart and her mind first before you ever touch her body
Cause she longs to be accepted she longs to be loved
So she gives herself up to another guys lust
She thinks it feels good at first but then she gets bitter
Cause the promise of satisfaction it never delivers
She's like I don't want to but it's just too tempting
So she keeps opening up the present just to find that it's empty
And then she starts to get confused
She keeps getting rejected by all these dudes
They tell her on a scale of the she's a two
But that ain't true if she only knew
That Jesus He loves and accepts us
Even when you don't want Him He'll never reject us
He heals us from that sin that totally infects us
And He does what condoms cant He emotionally protects us
And I know some of you hear this are gonna wanna indict me
But we gotta think rightly so I'll ask politely
Can your really say this isn't even true just slightly
I mean we touch the forbidden fruit not to realize it's poison ivy
Now we're numb and we're itchin and we got a distorted psyche
You know you think you just do it like you're name is Nike
Not realizing that the consequences of your actions are oh so pricey
So this last story though is for those who think they're too dirty
This last story is for those who think they're unworthy
Read John chapter 8 the woman caught in adultery
The religious leaders throw her naked in the temple while she yells don't murder me
They say Jesus the law commands us to stone this woman and you hear the hate in their tone
Jesus pauses it and says whoever is without sin you can cast the first tone
I mean can you imagine the sound silence all around
You hear footsteps walk away you hear stones hit the ground
And then Jesus kneels down the woman thought it was her demise
He lifts up her face you see the grace in His eyes
He says I don't condemn you go and sin no more
I love you I accept you mercy is yours
But if you're anything like me you're like no that cant be
Why would he ever die for me
See but then I saw that scene where I was redeemed
He reached out and touched me and said Jeff you're free
Instantly I was wearing the brightest robe I'd ever seen
I was perfectly spotless I was perfectly clean
So bright in fact man I thought I'd go blind
I said who's is this He said actually its mine
So think twice before you eat what society feeds us
Come follow the King His name is Jesus
-Jefferson Bethke

Lecrae's "identity", Shai Linne's "Penelope Judd", and C-Lite were quoted in this also.

My prayers tonight and tomorrow will be dedicated to those hearts that have turned away from Christ through sexual sin, that they will be healed by Christs touch, turn to the sacrament of reconcilliation and rejoice in the Lord's mercy.

Praying for AJ

Earlier today I got the news that the health of a great guy/friend/classmate from the St.Lawrence Center has taken a turn for the worse. AJ has been suffering from health conditions for the past year has just been diagnosed with a rare blood disease that the doctors say appears to be untreatable. It is estimated that he will only have a few precious days to live.

The St.Lawrence Center community has coordinated a prayer chain at 5pm everyday for AJ. We will be praying both a chaplet of divine mercy and a rosary. At this point, our prayers are most valuable so if you have a moment to offer up a prayer for him we would all be so thankful.

I am awfully proud to be a part of St.Lawrence and I have definitely let it be known on this blog. But I have never been filled with such joy to be a part of this group as I was today when reading the reactions pour in with prayers and intentions for him.

I'd like to share some of them here with you now.

• I had no idea. I'm in Costa Rica but am headed to the neighborhood church right now. Please please PLEASE let me know if there's anything else I can do…praying for aJ and his family and friends.
• Im in new orleans for the next week. im so sorry to hear this news but i will definitely keep the prayer chain going.
• I am in Texas but will try and get up there by Wednesday and will be more than willing to take people over there (to visit him)
• Be assured of my prayers on my drive back to Lawrence tomorrow as well as the rest of the week.
• This is obviously a very difficult time for everyone, but already it has been a truly beautiful witness of the power of Christian community. From one day of being present at the hospital, I can attest that AJ, his family, and his loved ones have received many blessings in the form of our presence and prayers, and I have great faith many more blessings will shine through this time of uncertainty as we unite for this more than worthy cause. Thank you all for your prayers and support, and continue to entrust AJ's well-being to the will of God. We can take consolation in knowing that he his much closer to heaven than we and that we may soon have a powerful saint to intercede on our behalf as we make our own way to our eternal destiny...
• St. Lawrence has truly shown through today! I've been able to see AJ as well today and in the midst of some of the greatest trials and sufferings I've ever experienced, there has been much fruit! Keep praying! See you in the Eucharist or on the battlefield (the kind that we fight on our knees) with AJ until he makes it home!
• Sending prayers!
• It is beautiful to see the unity and love of the St. Lawrence Center and friends coming together. Please know there are lots of prayers for AJ coming from Texas. The Aggie Catholic Center will also be lifting up the St. Lawrence community in prayer as well.
• My prayers are with you all! I'm afraid I probably won't be able to make it up, but please pass my blessings and prayers on to AJ and his family. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for everyone.
• Definitely keeping AJ's Family in my prayer!!! Our Lady of Guadalupe, Pray for us!
• AJ and all of the family: you are in my deepest prayers. We all love you so much.
• storming the gates of heaven for AJ!!!..
• stay strong! my prayers are with you!

The St.Lawrence Center is doing great things and it is evident in the community that it has established. Check out this article from the NCR about the St.Lawrence Center and the community that it is providing for us.

Koinonia is greek for community and that's exactly what we are; a community, a family. And that's exactly what AJ is a part of, our community of love for each other and for Christ Jesus.

Our Lady of Lourdes, patron of bodily illness, Pray for us!

I said TOTUS TUUS to the LORD this summer!

I'm back!!!

Totus Tuus will do this to you!

Whether I can believe it or not, I am done working Totus Tuus for the summer! It seems like I just started but it's been 9.5 weeks since my dad drove my duffel bag and I to Wichita, KS to hand my summer over to our Lord teaching a parish summmer catechetical program.

Team 4!

Teamies: Nick, Jacob, Loretta and I

This summer I gave Him my waking hours, my sleeping hours, my I wish I was sleeping hours. I gave Him my control, my desire to be acknowledged and my distaste for small talk with strangers. I gave Him my appetite, my hatred for onions and my ability to clear my plate no matter what was on it. I gave Him my want to wear more than 7 outfits all summer, and my hopelessly dirty feet. I gave Him my most prayerful times and the 7:45am chapel time where prayer was the last thing I wanted to be doing. I gave Him my voice singing during adoration and yelling over 130 children. I even gave Him my love for social media and blogging and did without it! I am proud to say that I said Totus Tuus to the Lord this summer. 

I had Justin Bieber Fever in this skit. Definitely singing One Less Lonely Girl.

The training week cup washing ladies and our cute aprons!

But even after giving Him all that and more, I know that I couldn't have done it without His help. I'm more impressed with how much God taught me this summer than with anything I could have done on my own. He kept me sane and showed me how strong in my convictions I can stand with Him in my corner. With Christ I could be more patient when I asked for the opportunity and ability to practice it. In seeing Christ in others I could fight the urge to blow up when I was annoyed or tired or grumpy. Because I was doing the Lords work I was capable of so much more.

Totus Tuus bowling with Alex!

Me and Kirsten, University of Kansas representing!

It's like they say:

Nobody said it was going to be easy, they just said it was going to be worth it.

Teammie Human Sundae

Who puts fruit loops on their ice cream sundae's really?

And totally worth it it has been. He blessed me with all of the amazing people I encountered this summer. Waking up every morning at approximately 7:36 to leave the house at 7:40 so we could have meditation, pray morning prayer and the rosary as a team was worth it to grow in my spiritual life. To let the Lord be the source of my energy when at 9:00am every morning a swarm of kids from 1st-6th grade would pour in the door waiting for me to acknowledge them, listen to their stories, and show them they were important to me. The hours of classes during training week while I was dog tired covering the stories of Adam & Eve, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David and Christ along with the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary at a college level were worth it when I saw the wheels start to click in the minds of my 5th graders every week. Wanting to take a 4 hour nap every afternoon but often skipping it to have Sonic Happy Hour/Glee watching/Pigeon Story Reading/Swimming time to create a bond outside of work with my team was worth the exhaustion I often felt when it came time for the 7th-12th grade program at night. And by 10pm it took all I had not to let my head collapse on my pillow before remembering that God is the reason I made it through the day in the first place without keeling over an dying, and to give Him some time before sleep, but it was all worth it. And even though I like to say I couldn't do it one more day... if they needed me tomorrow I'd say yes in a heart beat.

Christine, Me, Alex and Alice during training week!

Again on our last night together at the end of summer retreat!

Be Not Afraid

As many of you may have already known this past Sunday was the World Day of Prayer for Vocations. Because with Him there are no coincidences, with the help of the Holy Spirit I had a pretty good conversation with God concerning my vocation after mass.

It was these words from Fr. Mitchel’s homily that got me praying:

It is often said that the moment after receiving the Eucharist is the best moment for discerning one's vocation. For it is at this moment that we are most inclined to hear Jesus' voice not with fear - not as do this because I told you so, or do that, or else - but with trust. We fear Jesus' voice when our pride tells us that Jesus cannot know us as well as we know ourselves, when our selfishness tells us that it would be foolish to turn any decisions over to him. We trust Jesus' voice when we realize he only desires to free us to be what we have always wanted to be, and to live a life of love that is measured by the beauty of his glorious cross. May Jesus then, fully present in the Eucharist, be the gate by which we come and go through life, and arrive at the true discernment of the vocation he has given to us, and to no one else.

I've probably reread that paragraph 24 times in the past 24 hours. It's beautiful. But there was a part that I heard during the homily that resonated with me:  

“ not with fear…”. 

Vocational discernment is a big deal at St.Lawrence and sometimes it seems like everyone under the sun is very actively discerning and getting answers. In fact four of my guy friends will be off to the seminary in the fall and some of my girl friends are confident knowing they are called to marriage. I on the other hand have no idea, no inclination, no compass teetering to one side or the other.

Let's face the facts; sometimes vocational discernment is intimidating. 

I'm a big fan of the dictionary references to drive a point home so here goes this one:


in-tim-i-date

[in-tim-i-deyt]
–verb (used with object)
1. to make timid; fill with fear.
2. to overawe or cow, as through the force of personality or by superior display of wealth, talent, etc.
3. to force into or deter from some action by inducing fear 

I'm scared of my discernment. But I'm not scared in the way some people are scared. I'm not terrified of the possibility of the Lord calling me to consecrate my life to Christ and be a religious . I'm not terrified that He may be calling me to the devoted single life. I'm not terrified that God could be calling me to a holy marriage. No that is not it at all. I am terrified of time.

I like to say that I want to know what my vocation is. Oh how simple it would be if He would just spit it out already, let's move on with the show. I pray for Him to reveal to me exactly what it is that He’d like for me. A swift kick in the right direction ought to do me some good. But the more I think about it the more I realize that I’m lying; to myself and to God.

I'm not ready to know my vocation right now! If I know what my vocation is then I’ll be obligated to live it out. I just got to college two years ago! What if my vocation calls me away? I'm proud beyond proud of my friends going to the seminary next year. The day I found out about one of them I was literally beaming. My boss even asked me if there was something different about me that day and then mentioned that it was because she hadn't seen me stop smiling since I walked in the door. But part of me is glad it's them and not me. Because they're leaving, moving on because God has asked them too. They're answering the call. Even if this becoming a priest isn't what God will end up calling them to in the end they're not too intimidated to answer.

If God reaches out to me in prayer tomorrow and tells me ever so obviously that I’m called to be a religious sister than I will have to take the first step in that journey. If he calls out to me and tells me that marriage is the way to go than I'll have to force myself to the vulnerability of being in a relationship. And these are what I fear. The future is a scary scary thing. Hearing the call for me, is a scary thing. Because if God calls than I'll have to pick up.

And what if I don't hear Him right? What if I make the wrong decision and choose the wrong vocation? What if I don't pick up in time and the opportunity passes? What if? What if?

While I was mulling over all of these things after receiving Christ's body in the Eucharist I heard the song Be Not Afraid in my head. Hearing God speak is an amazing feeling, one that I never truly had before St.Lawrence because I'd never taken the time to listen.

As I knelt in the pew after Mass I knew what I was supposed to do. I picked up the book of hymns, turned the page to Be Not Afraid and read the lyrics and Christ comforted me.

Are we certain that this songwriter didn't have vocational discernment in mind when he wrote this?

You shall cross the barren desert, but you shall not die of thirst.
You shall wander far in safety though you do not know the way.
You shall speak your words in foreign lands and all will understand.
You shall see the face of God and live.

Be not afraid.
I go before you always.
Come follow me, and
I will give you rest.

If you pass through raging waters in the sea, you shall not drown.
If you walk amid the burning flames, you shall not be harmed.
If you stand before the pow'r of hell and death is at your side,
Know that I am with you through it all.

And I thought about how even now when it seems like my discernment process is barren and unproductive there is a plan already set in motion and I will not die waiting for it. That I can find comfort following in the safety of God's will even though I don't know where He's leading me. That no matter where He sends me and which vocational direction He pushes me towards there is a difference that only I can make in it. That no matter what, as long as I am following God's will, I will see Him in that life.

It's like that sentence was meant for me that day. Be not afraid. Listen to Jesus "not with fear..." but with trust. He won't lead me down a path that He hasn't first been down Himself. I can find comfort and rest knowing that I can trust Him with my life, with my future.

And when times in my vocation are tougher than I ever imagined they could be and things don't seem like they're gonna hold together I'll get out alive. When there are people around me trying to persuade my choice in vocation out of their own selfishness listening to Christ will keep me on the right path.

He is there, through the whole process. When it feels like God will never reveal your vocation to you He is there, working on you. 

Be not afraid.

Where my Pitches at?

University of Kansas Intramural Champs!

Co-ed Slowpitch Softball

(and Womens Slowpitch Softball)





Lucas, Charlie, Drew, Garett, Cory, Ben
Brigid, Shannon, Dani, Kaitlyn, Me, Melissa, Kirsten



 I'm really lucky to have met such great friends in college. Blessed actually. A lot of people don't get to have the kind of experiences I get to have simply because of the people in their lives. In my case it's the people from the St.Lawrence Community, especially our softball team.

Where my Pitches at? team huddle

We had a whole weekend full of fellowship and fun, giving thanks to God for allowing us to use the talents He gave us for His greater glory. To hit a knee after every game thanking Him and to be a witness to the other teams is a gift.

Our fan base! Even Sr.Elena came out to support us, 
we had some extra holiness on our side!

 What was even more powerful was the St.Lawrence Catholic Campus Center community that came out and supported us. We had a slew of friends/fans there starting cheers for us and just genuinely excited. One girl on the other team even told her teammates before the game that they were going to lose because we have God on our side! So funny!

Check out our fan tunnel after we won the championship!

Future roomies Megan, Dani, Me and Leslie 
plus future neighbor photobomber Curtis.

Future roomies plus Korbi and future seminarian photobomber Garett.

The backs of the shirts are pretty cool!

Ahhhhh....what a great weekend!

Easter Saturday

Today is the ninth and final day of the Novena to the Divine Mercy, that Christ asked us by way of St.Faustina to pray, which will lead up to the Feast of the Divine Mercy tomorrow. In speaking to St.Faustina Christ gave her a different intention to pray for on each day of the Novena.

In St.Faustina's diary she wrote that Jesus told her:
"On each day of the novena you will bring to My heart a different group of souls and you will immerse them in this ocean of My mercy...On each day you will beg My Father, on the strength of My passion, for the graces of these souls."

Day 1 (Good Friday) - All mankind, especially sinners
Day 2 (Holy Saturday) - The souls of priests and religious
Day 3 (Easter Sunday) - All devout and faithful souls
Day 4 (Easter Monday) - Those who do not believe in Jesus and those who do not yet know Him
Day 5 (Easter Tuesday) - The souls of separated brethren
Day 6 (Easter Wednesday) - The meek and humble souls and the souls of children
Day 7 (Easter Thursday) - The souls who especially venerate and glorify Jesus' mercy
Day 8 (Easter Friday) - The souls who are detained in purgatory
Day 9 (Easter Saturday) - The souls who have become lukewarm

"Today bring to Me the Souls who have become Lukewarm, and immerse them in the abyss of My mercy. These souls wound My Heart most painfully. My soul suffered the most dreadful loathing in the Garden of Olives because of lukewarm souls. They were the reason I cried out: 'Father, take this cup away from Me, if it be Your will.' For them, the last hope of salvation is to run to My mercy."

Most compassionate Jesus, You are Compassion Itself. I bring lukewarm souls into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart. In this fire of Your pure love, let these tepid souls who, like corpses, filled You with such deep loathing, be once again set aflame. O Most Compassionate Jesus, exercise the omnipotence of Your mercy and draw them into the very ardor of Your love, and bestow upon them the gift of holy love, for nothing is beyond Your power.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon lukewarm souls who are nonetheless enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. Father of Mercy, I beg You by the bitter Passion of Your Son and by His three-hour agony on the Cross: Let them, too, glorify the abyss of Your mercy. Amen.


You can visit here to see all of the days at once.

Easter Friday

Today is the eighth day of the Novena to the Divine Mercy, that Christ asked us by way of St.Faustina to pray, which will lead up to the Feast of the Divine Mercy next Sunday. In speaking to St.Faustina Christ gave her a different intention to pray for on each day of the Novena.

In St.Faustina's diary she wrote that Jesus told her:
"On each day of the novena you will bring to My heart a different group of souls and you will immerse them in this ocean of My mercy...On each day you will beg My Father, on the strength of My passion, for the graces of these souls."

Day 1 (Good Friday) - All mankind, especially sinners
Day 2 (Holy Saturday) - The souls of priests and religious
Day 3 (Easter Sunday) - All devout and faithful souls
Day 4 (Easter Monday) - Those who do not believe in Jesus and those who do not yet know Him
Day 5 (Easter Tuesday) - The souls of separated brethren
Day 6 (Easter Wednesday) - The meek and humble souls and the souls of children
Day 7 (Easter Thursday) - The souls who especially venerate and glorify Jesus' mercy
Day 8 (Easter Friday) - The souls who are detained in purgatory

"Today bring to Me the Souls who are in the prison of Purgatory, and immerse them in the abyss of My mercy. Let the torrents of My Blood cool down their scorching flames. All these souls are greatly loved by Me. They are making retribution to My justice. It is in your power to bring them relief. Draw all the indulgences from the treasury of My Church and offer them on their behalf. Oh, if you only knew the torments they suffer, you would continually offer for them the alms of the spirit and pay off their debt to My justice."

Most Merciful Jesus, You Yourself have said that You desire mercy; so I bring into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls in Purgatory, souls who are very dear to You, and yet, who must make retribution to Your justice. May the streams of Blood and Water which gushed forth from Your Heart put out the flames of Purgatory, that there, too, the power of Your mercy may be celebrated.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls suffering in Purgatory, who are enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. I beg You, by the sorrowful Passion of Jesus Your Son, and by all the bitterness with which His most sacred Soul was flooded: Manifest Your mercy to the souls who are under Your just scrutiny. Look upon them in no other way but only through the Wounds of Jesus, Your dearly beloved Son; for we firmly believe that there is no limit to Your goodness and compassion. Amen.
Day 9 (Easter Saturday) - The souls who have become lukewarm

Feel free to come back tomorrow for the prayers of Day 9 or you can visit here to see all of the days at once.

Easter Thursday

Today is the seventh day of the Novena to the Divine Mercy, that Christ asked us by way of St.Faustina to pray, which will lead up to the Feast of the Divine Mercy next Sunday. In speaking to St.Faustina Christ gave her a different intention to pray for on each day of the Novena.

In St.Faustina's diary she wrote that Jesus told her:
"On each day of the novena you will bring to My heart a different group of souls and you will immerse them in this ocean of My mercy...On each day you will beg My Father, on the strength of My passion, for the graces of these souls."

Day 1 (Good Friday) - All mankind, especially sinners
Day 2 (Holy Saturday) - The souls of priests and religious
Day 3 (Easter Sunday) - All devout and faithful souls
Day 4 (Easter Monday) - Those who do not believe in Jesus and those who do not yet know Him
Day 5 (Easter Tuesday) - The souls of separated brethren
Day 6 (Easter Wednesday) - The meek and humble souls and the souls of children
Day 7 (Easter Thursday) - The souls who especially venerate and glorify Jesus' mercy

"Today bring to Me the Souls who especially venerate and glorify My Mercy, and immerse them in My mercy. These souls sorrowed most over my Passion and entered most deeply into My spirit. They are living images of My Compassionate Heart. These souls will shine with a special brightness in the next life. Not one of them will go into the fire of hell. I shall particularly defend each one of them at the hour of death."

Most Merciful Jesus, whose Heart is Love Itself, receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of those who particularly extol and venerate the greatness of Your mercy. These souls are mighty with the very power of God Himself. In the midst of all afflictions and adversities they go forward, confident of Your mercy; and united to You, O Jesus, they carry all mankind on their shoulders. These souls will not be judged severely, but Your mercy will embrace them as they depart from this life.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls who glorify and venerate Your greatest attribute, that of Your fathomless mercy, and who are enclosed in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. These souls are a living Gospel; their hands are full of deeds of mercy, and their hearts, overflowing with joy, sing a canticle of mercy to You, O Most High! I beg You O God:

Show them Your mercy according to the hope and trust they have placed in You. Let there be accomplished in them the promise of Jesus who said to them that during their life, but especially at the hour of death, the souls who will venerate this fathomless mercy of His, He, Himself, will defend as His glory. Amen.

Day 8 (Easter Friday) - The souls who are detained in purgatory
Day 9 (Easter Saturday) - The souls who have become lukewarm

Feel free to come back tomorrow for the prayers of Day 8 or you can visit here to see all of the days at once.

Easter Wednesday

Today is the sixth day of the Novena to the Divine Mercy, that Christ asked us by way of St.Faustina to pray, which will lead up to the Feast of the Divine Mercy next Sunday. In speaking to St.Faustina Christ gave her a different intention to pray for on each day of the Novena.

In St.Faustina's diary she wrote that Jesus told her:
"On each day of the novena you will bring to My heart a different group of souls and you will immerse them in this ocean of My mercy...On each day you will beg My Father, on the strength of My passion, for the graces of these souls."

Day 1 (Good Friday) - All mankind, especially sinners
Day 2 (Holy Saturday) - The souls of priests and religious
Day 3 (Easter Sunday) - All devout and faithful souls
Day 4 (Easter Monday) - Those who do not believe in Jesus and those who do not yet know Him
Day 5 (Easter Tuesday) - The souls of separated brethren
Day 6 (Easter Wednesday) - The meek and humble souls and the souls of children

"Today bring to Me the Meek and Humble Souls and the Souls of Little Children, and immerse them in My mercy. These souls most closely resemble My Heart. They strengthened Me during My bitter agony. I saw them as earthly Angels, who will keep vigil at My altars. I pour out upon them whole torrents of grace. I favor humble souls with My confidence."

Most Merciful Jesus, You yourself have said, "Learn from Me for I am meek and humble of heart." Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart all meek andhumble souls and the souls of little children. These souls send all heaven into ecstasy and they are the heavenly Father's favorites. They are a sweet-smelling bouquet before the throne of God; God Himself takes delight in their fragrance. These souls have a permanent abode in Your Most Compassionate Heart, O Jesus, and they unceasingly sing out a hymn of love and mercy.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon meek souls, upon humble souls, and upon little children who are enfolded in the abode which is the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. These souls bear the closest resemblance to Your Son. Their fragrance rises from the earth and reaches Your very throne. Father of mercy and of all goodness, I beg You by the love You bear these souls and by the delight You take in them: Bless the whole world, that all souls together may sing out the praises of Your mercy for endless ages. Amen.

Day 7 (Easter Thursday) - The souls who especially venerate and glorify Jesus' mercy
Day 8 (Easter Friday) - The souls who are detained in purgatory
Day 9 (Easter Saturday) - The souls who have become lukewarm

Feel free to come back tomorrow for the prayers of Day 7 or you can visit here to see all of the days at once.

Easter Tuesday

Today is the fifth day of the Novena to the Divine Mercy, that Christ asked us by way of St.Faustina to pray, which will lead up to the Feast of the Divine Mercy next Sunday. In speaking to St.Faustina Christ gave her a different intention to pray for on each day of the Novena.

In St.Faustina's diary she wrote that Jesus told her:
"On each day of the novena you will bring to My heart a different group of souls and you will immerse them in this ocean of My mercy...On each day you will beg My Father, on the strength of My passion, for the graces of these souls."

Day 1 (Good Friday) - All mankind, especially sinners
Day 2 (Holy Saturday) - The souls of priests and religious
Day 3 (Easter Sunday) - All devout and faithful souls
Day 4 (Easter Monday) - Those who do not believe in Jesus and those who do not yet know Him
Day 5 (Easter Tuesday) - The souls of separated brethren

"Today bring to Me the Souls of those who have separated themselves from My Church, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. During My bitter Passion they tore at My Body and Heart, that is, My Church. As they return to unity with the Church My woulds heal and in this way they alleviate My Passion."

Most Merciful Jesus, Goodness Itself, You do not refuse light to those who seek it of You. Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of those who have separated themselves from Your Church. Draw them by Your light into the unity of the Church, and do not let theme scape from the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart; but bring it about that they, too, come to glorify the generosity of Your mercy.

Eternal father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls of those who have separated themselves from Your Son's Church, who have squandered Your blessigns and misused Your graces by obstinately persisting in their errors. Do not look upon their errors, but upon the love of Your own son and upon His bitter Passion, which He underwent for their sake, since they, too, are enclosed in His Most Compassionate Heart. Bring it about that they also may glorify Your great mercy for endless ages. Amen.

Day 6 (Easter Wednesday) - The meek and humble souls and the souls of children
Day 7 (Easter Thursday) - The souls who especially venerate and glorify Jesus' mercy
Day 8 (Easter Friday) - The souls who are detained in purgatory
Day 9 (Easter Saturday) - The souls who have become lukewarm

Feel free to come back tomorrow for the prayers of Day 6 or you can visit here to see all of the days at once.

Easter Monday

Today is the fourth day of the Novena to the Divine Mercy, that Christ asked us by way of St.Faustina to pray, which will lead up to the Feast of the Divine Mercy next Sunday. In speaking to St.Faustina Christ gave her a different intention to pray for on each day of the Novena.

In St.Faustina's diary she wrote that Jesus told her:
"On each day of the novena you will bring to My heart a different group of souls and you will immerse them in this ocean of My mercy...On each day you will beg My Father, on the strength of My passion, for the graces of these souls."

Day 1 (Good Friday) - All mankind, especially sinners
Day 2 (Holy Saturday) - The souls of priests and religious
Day 3 (Easter Sunday) - All devout and faithful souls
Day 4 (Easter Monday) - Those who do not believe in Jesus and those who do not yet know Him
"Today bring to Me those who do not believe in God and those who do not know Me, I was thinking also of them during My bitter Passion, and their future zeal comforted My Heart. Immerse them in the ocean of My mercy."

Most compassionate Jesus, You are the Light of the whole world. Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of those who do not believe in God and of those who as yet do not know You. Let the rays of Your grace enlighten them that they, too, together with us, may extol Your wonderfulmercy; and do not let them escape from the abode which is Your Most Compassionate Heart.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls of those who do not believe in You, and of those who as yet do not know You, but who are enclosed in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. Draw them to the light of the Gospel. These souls do not know what great happiness it is to love You. Grant that they, too, may extol the generosity of Your mercy for endless ages. Amen.

Day 5 (Easter Tuesday) - The souls of separated brethren
Day 6 (Easter Wednesday) - The meek and humble souls and the souls of children
Day 7 (Easter Thursday) - The souls who especially venerate and glorify Jesus' mercy
Day 8 (Easter Friday) - The souls who are detained in purgatory
Day 9 (Easter Saturday) - The souls who have become lukewarm

Feel free to come back tomorrow for the prayers of Day 5 or you can visit here to see all of the days at once.

Easter Sunday!

Jesus Christ is risen today Amen. Alleluia. Oh how good it feels to say that word. Over and over again all day I could say that word. I hope you are all enjoying your Easter Sunday with your families!

Today is the third day of the Novena to the Divine Mercy, that Christ asked us by way of St.Faustina to pray, which will lead up to the Feast of the Divine Mercy next Sunday. In speaking to St.Faustina Christ gave her a different intention to pray for on each day of the Novena.

In St.Faustina's diary she wrote that Jesus told her:
"On each day of the novena you will bring to My heart a different group of souls and you will immerse them in this ocean of My mercy...On each day you will beg My Father, on the strength of My passion, for the graces of these souls."

Day 1 (Good Friday) - All mankind, especially sinners
Day 2 (Holy Saturday) - The souls of priests and religious
Day 3 (Easter Sunday) - All devout and faithful souls
"Today bring to Me all Devout and Faithful Souls, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. These souls brought me consolation on the Way of the Cross. They were a drop of consolation in the midst of an ocean of bitterness."

Most Merciful Jesus, from the treasury of Your mercy, You impart Your graces in great abundance to each and all. Receive us into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart and never let us escape from It. We beg this grace of You by the most wondrous love for the heavenly Father with which Your Heart burns so fiercely.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon faithful souls, as upon the inheritance of Your Son. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, grant them Your blessing and surround them with Your constant protection. Thus may they never fail in love or lose the treasure of the holy faith, but rather, with all the hosts of Angels and Saints, may they glorify Your boundless mercy for endless ages. Amen.

Day 4 (Easter Monday) - Those who do not believe in Jesus and those who do not yet know Him
Day 5 (Easter Tuesday) - The souls of separated brethren
Day 6 (Easter Wednesday) - The meek and humble souls and the souls of children
Day 7 (Easter Thursday) - The souls who especially venerate and glorify Jesus' mercy
Day 8 (Easter Friday) - The souls who are detained in purgatory
Day 9 (Easter Saturday) - The souls who have become lukewarm

Feel free to come back tomorrow for the prayers of Day 4 or you can visit here to see all of the days at once.

Holy Saturday

Today is the second day of the Novena to the Divine Mercy, that Christ asked us by way of St.Faustina to pray, which will lead up to the Feast of the Divine Mercy next Sunday. In speaking to St.Faustina Christ gave her a different intention to pray for on each day of the Novena.

In St.Faustina's diary she wrote that Jesus told her:
"On each day of the novena you will bring to My heart a different group of souls and you will immerse them in this ocean of My mercy...On each day you will beg My Father, on the strength of My passion, for the graces of these souls."

Day 1 (Good Friday) - All mankind, especially sinners
Day 2 (Holy Saturday) - The souls of priests and religious

"Today bring to Me the Souls of Priests and Religious, and immerse them in My unfathomable mercy. It was they who gave me strength to endure My bitter Passion. Through them as through channels My mercy flows out upon mankind."

Most Merciful Jesus, from whom comes all that is good, increase Your grace in men and women consecrated to Your service, that they may perform worthy works of mercy; and that all who see them may glorify the Father of Mercy who is in heaven.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the company of chosen ones in Your vineyard - upon the souls of priests and religious; and endow them with the strength of Your blessing. For the love of the Heart of Your Son in which they are enfolded, impart to them Your power and light, that they may be able to guide others in the way of salvation and with one voice sing praise to Your boundless mercy for ages without end. Amen.

Day 3 (Easter Sunday) - All devout and faithful souls
Day 4 (Easter Monday) - Those who do not believe in Jesus and those who do not yet know Him
Day 5 (Easter Tuesday) - The souls of separated brethren
Day 6 (Easter Wednesday) - The meek and humble souls and the souls of children
Day 7 (Easter Thursday) - The souls who especially venerate and glorify Jesus' mercy
Day 8 (Easter Friday) - The souls who are detained in purgatory
Day 9 (Easter Saturday) - The souls who have become lukewarm

Feel free to come back tomorrow for the prayers of Day 3 or you can visit here to see all of the days at once.

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday and Christians everywhere are mourning the death of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. If you can, take the opportunity to walk through Calvary with our Lord today.

Good Friday is also the day that begins the Novena to the Divine Mercy, that Christ asked us by way of St.Faustina to pray, which will lead up to the Feast of the Divine Mercy next Sunday. In speaking to St.Faustina Christ gave her a different intention to pray for on each day of the Novena.

In St.Faustina's diary she wrote that Jesus told her:
"On each day of the novena you will bring to My heart a different group of souls and you will immerse them in this ocean of My mercy...On each day you will beg My Father, on the strength of My passion, for the graces of these souls."

So even if you are not Catholic or not familiar with praying a Novena, take a couple extra minutes these next 9 days and ask Our Lord for His infinite mercy.

Day 1 (Good Friday) - All mankind, especially sinners
"Today bring to Me all mankind, especially sinners, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. In this way you will console Me in the bitter grief into which he loss of souls plunges Me."

Most Merciful Jesus, whose very nature it is to have compassion on us and to forgive us, do not look upon our sins but upon our trust which we place in Your infinite goodness. Receive us all into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart, and never let us escape from It. We beg this of You by Your love which unites You to the Father and the Holy Spirit.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon all mankind and especially upon poor sinners, all enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion show us Your mercy, that we may praise the omnipotence of Your mercy for ever and ever. Amen.

Day 2 (Holy Saturday) - The souls of priests and religious
Day 3 (Easter Sunday) - All devout and faithful souls
Day 4 (Easter Monday) - Those who do not believe in Jesus and those who do not yet know Him
Day 5 (Easter Tuesday) - The souls of separated brethren
Day 6 (Easter Wednesday) - The meek and humble souls and the souls of children
Day 7 (Easter Thursday) - The souls who especially venerate and glorify Jesus' mercy
Day 8 (Easter Friday) - The souls who are detained in purgatory
Day 9 (Easter Saturday) - The souls who have become lukewarm

Feel free to come back tomorrow for the prayers of Day 2 or you can visit here to see all of the days at once.

My Scariest Life Change Ever and I'm Making it Right Now

It was 3pm on Saturday. I went to studio to get some work done, was there for approximately 30 minutes with four other girls there and I left. I couldn't do it anymore. It was awful. I hated it. I'd had enough.

I pick up my phone as I'm walking down flights of stairs to get out of the building. As soon as I hit fresh air I call home to talk to my parents. No one answers but I try again, I really need to get this off my chest. My mom picks up and she says she was on the phone with my grandma and was doing dishes. I asked her if she had time to talk and of course she says yes. Okay I say, I have something to tell you. I want to change my major. There. I've said it. It's out in the universe. Now finally someone else knows. And then the tears come, the sobbing, can't catch my breath tears.

I'm scared, I keep saying over and over again, this is scary.  I'd been wrestling with the idea of switching for months but I couldn't bring myself to do it. This is the end of my sophomore year. I've spent two years worth of money and time in this major and now I'm throwing it all away. What am I gonna do? All I know is I can't don't wanna do this any more.
  
Then of course there were other things going through my head. I was scared because I pay for college, and that's at least one more year that I'm going to have to find a way to pay for, one more year of living costs, one more year of not being in the working world. One more year of debt that I will be in. Does changing majors make me a failure? Because that's certainly what it felt like. Like I chose the wrong major to begin with so I lost, I failed. Will it look like I'm giving up? What will the girls in the interior design program say when they see that I'm not in their classes next year? Cassi wasn't good enough? Cassi didn't work hard enough? Cassi didn't want it enough? Cassi dropped out because she couldn't take it? Cassi failed? Just the thought of anyone saying that was enough to make me feel sick to my stomach.

When I first started not enjoying my classes I'd tell myself that I could go through four years of hell to have the rest of my future in a career that I loved. And that worked, for a while. Then I realized that I didn't like my classes. I didn't like the way my teachers didn't really teach. I didn't like my projects. I wasn't particularly fond of some cliques that had formed in my very small class. I don't feel particulary accepted by certain classmates and was an outsider in the interior design 'family'. I no longer loved the idea of being an interior designer for the rest of my life. I didn't like the idea of not being great at what I was doing. I looked at my educational life and working future and didn't see one thing that I liked. And that's when I knew. 

Recently we had a St.Lawrence Speed Dating event. Yeah just saying it seems funny. We listened to Fr.Steve give a talk (that will have to be it's own post), and then had about 8 dates, 3 minutes each. At the end of the evening we had a list of the guys that were there and could circle whomever we wished and if they circled us than we'd be 'matched'. Goodness it's so much less creepy than I'm making it sound (now I'll have to do another post on it just to explain better). So I started going through the speed dates in my head and remembering what the guys I talked to were like. I liked the 'idea' of some of they guys, they were really nice and fun to talk to but sometimes you just know that you aren't compatible. You know that if you were to go on the date that you'd be lying to the both of you so you pass on it because the 'idea' of the guy is better than the reality of what you and that date would be like.

I think it's the same with me being an interior design major. I loved the 'idea' of being an interior design major. In my head it was the perfect way to mix the best of two worlds, art and business. I'd be able to go through college saying I'm an interior design major. The idea of working at an architecture firm and doing huge projects was a great one. But I think I liked the 'idea' of being an interior designer more than I would actually like to be an interior designer. It just took me a while to figure that out.

I used to genuinely want to be an interior designer. I sure as heck wasn't expecting to ever begin to not want to be an interior designer. But then again I used to genuinely enjoy eating sandwiches of pickles and ketchup between two slices of cheese when i was little. I no longer enjoy eating those. Things change. It's a fact of life. 

I don't often say this but I think Marilyn Monroe said it pretty well:

"...sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

Now that I've told my mom and a couple friends what's going on my heart feels so much lighter. I'm amazed at how heavily this whole thing had been weighing on my heart. So I cried for 30 minutes and then I couldn't stop smiling. So this is what it feels like to surrender to God's will. I'd been praying about it a lot lately and just hoping that God would give me the strength to make this life changing decision.

I've talked about this before but God has a very unique-to-Cassi way of communicating with me. God starts by planting this little tiny thought inside my head. I tend to overthink things, it's who I am. I don't make split-second decisions and I like to weigh the pros and cons and worry worry worry. Then after I've done the worrying and weighing for weeks/months and shaking the idea of that little thought in my head, God comes up to me and slaps me in the face and I'm like whoa! And then I pull the trigger. Deep inside I know what to do but sometimes my trust isn't where it should be and I get scared until I hear Him say 'I'm right here and I've been telling you over and over again what to do. Why aren't you listening to Me?'

So this is me, listening. No I'm not going to enjoy the interior design students talking about me behind my back and no I'm not going to enjoy having to pay more money and be in school for more years. But God will provide and I will be humbled knowing that others won't think as highly of me anymore:

But he bestows a greater grace; therefore, it says: "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." - James 4:6

Before his downfall a man's heart is haughty, but humility goes before honors. - Proverbs 18:12

If you're out there and you're reading this I'd like to ask a favor. Would you please pray that everything will work out for the better? That this will help me to grow in humililty. That I will be more open to listening to and following God's will for me and that this change in majors will be for the better? Know that in return I will be praying for you.

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