The Crowded Catholic Cafeteria

Cafeteria Catholic

I'm sure you've probably heard the term before. You know how a cafeteria works, you grab your tray and go through the line picking up only what you'd like.

It's hard for me to see the 'cafeteria Catholics' who think they have the right to decide which teachings of the Church they're going to accept and which they're going to reject. It's especially hard in today's secular and overly sexual world where those who are 'Catholic' vocally disagree with the Church's stance on controversial issues like birth control, premarital sex, cohabitation, abortion, divorce and remarriage. This shouldn't come as big news to you, but the Catholic Church is not a democracy, and thank the Lord for that!

JPII, like always, says it best:

“It is sometimes reported that a large number of Catholics today do not adhere to the teaching of the Catholic Church on a number of questions, notably sexual and conjugal morality, divorce and remarriage. Some are reported as not accepting the clear position on abortion. It has to be noted that there is a tendency on the part of some Catholics to be selective in their adherence to the Church’s moral teaching. It is sometimes claimed that dissent from the magisterium is totally compatible with being a “good Catholic,” and poses no obstacle to the reception of the Sacraments. This is a grave error that challenges the teaching of the Bishops in the United States and elsewhere.” - Pope JPII

Today's cafeteria Catholics are not the first to refuse the teachings of Christ:

Then many of his disciples who were listening said, "This saying is hard; who can accept it?" Since Jesus knew that his disciples were murmuring about this, he said to them, "Does this shock you? What if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? It is the spirit that gives life, while the flesh is of no avail. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But there are some of you who do not believe." Jesus knew from the beginning the ones who would not believe and the one who would betray him. And he said, "For this reason I have told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by my Father." As a result of this, many (of) his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him. Jesus then said to the Twelve, "Do you also want to leave?" Simon Peter answered him, "Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God." -John 6:60-69

The Catholic Church says that the Pope is the Vicar of Christ. He stands "in Persona Christi" in the Person of Christ for us here on earth.

In the ecclesial service of the ordained minister, it is Christ himself who is present to his Church as Head of his Body, Shepherd of his flock, high priest of the redemptive sacrifice, Teacher of Truth. This is what the Church means by saying that the priest, by virtue of the sacrament of Holy Orders, acts in persona Christi Capitis:

It is the same priest, Christ Jesus, whose sacred person his minister truly represents. Now the minister, by reason of the sacerdotal consecration which he has received, is truly made like to the high priest and possesses the authority to act in the power and place of the person of Christ himself (virtute ac persona ipsius Christi).

Christ is the source of all priesthood: the priest of the old law was a figure of Christ, and the priest of the new law acts in the person of Christ. (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1548)

Much like those early disciples rejected the Truth that Jesus was teaching, today's cafeteria Catholics are rejecting what His Church is teaching through the Pope.

I know that there have been times in my past that I've doubted and questioned and tested my limits with the Church's teachings much like the disciples in The Bread of Life Discourse, but I have come to believe like the disciples, that Christ has the words of eternal life.

What Christ says goes. Since the Pope is the Vicar of Christ, what the Pope says goes.

We're not running a buffet here. You can't just go in and get what you want. We are at the wedding feast, and even if it were onions (which I hate) that the Lord were serving me I wouldn't be refusing them. So why do some refuse His Truth today, even if that Truth means eating onions?

Here's what I've learned since starting this blog:

It's not easy to have opinions that go against what some of my friends and family believe and practice. Sometimes people that I love may not agree with what I have to say, or might be offended, but I know:

"be firm, steadfast, always fully devoted to the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." - 1 Corinthians 15:58

When I die and God willing go to Heaven and meet Him at the gates and He asks me, "Why didn't you stand up for Me and My Church? Why didn't you let them know that you disagreed with them because it was bad for them, goes against My teachings, My Truth and My Church?"

I sure don't want to have to answer that question with, "because I didn't want to offend anyone" or "it was just too hard."

My Scariest Life Change Ever and I'm Making it Right Now

It was 3pm on Saturday. I went to studio to get some work done, was there for approximately 30 minutes with four other girls there and I left. I couldn't do it anymore. It was awful. I hated it. I'd had enough.

I pick up my phone as I'm walking down flights of stairs to get out of the building. As soon as I hit fresh air I call home to talk to my parents. No one answers but I try again, I really need to get this off my chest. My mom picks up and she says she was on the phone with my grandma and was doing dishes. I asked her if she had time to talk and of course she says yes. Okay I say, I have something to tell you. I want to change my major. There. I've said it. It's out in the universe. Now finally someone else knows. And then the tears come, the sobbing, can't catch my breath tears.

I'm scared, I keep saying over and over again, this is scary.  I'd been wrestling with the idea of switching for months but I couldn't bring myself to do it. This is the end of my sophomore year. I've spent two years worth of money and time in this major and now I'm throwing it all away. What am I gonna do? All I know is I can't don't wanna do this any more.
  
Then of course there were other things going through my head. I was scared because I pay for college, and that's at least one more year that I'm going to have to find a way to pay for, one more year of living costs, one more year of not being in the working world. One more year of debt that I will be in. Does changing majors make me a failure? Because that's certainly what it felt like. Like I chose the wrong major to begin with so I lost, I failed. Will it look like I'm giving up? What will the girls in the interior design program say when they see that I'm not in their classes next year? Cassi wasn't good enough? Cassi didn't work hard enough? Cassi didn't want it enough? Cassi dropped out because she couldn't take it? Cassi failed? Just the thought of anyone saying that was enough to make me feel sick to my stomach.

When I first started not enjoying my classes I'd tell myself that I could go through four years of hell to have the rest of my future in a career that I loved. And that worked, for a while. Then I realized that I didn't like my classes. I didn't like the way my teachers didn't really teach. I didn't like my projects. I wasn't particularly fond of some cliques that had formed in my very small class. I don't feel particulary accepted by certain classmates and was an outsider in the interior design 'family'. I no longer loved the idea of being an interior designer for the rest of my life. I didn't like the idea of not being great at what I was doing. I looked at my educational life and working future and didn't see one thing that I liked. And that's when I knew. 

Recently we had a St.Lawrence Speed Dating event. Yeah just saying it seems funny. We listened to Fr.Steve give a talk (that will have to be it's own post), and then had about 8 dates, 3 minutes each. At the end of the evening we had a list of the guys that were there and could circle whomever we wished and if they circled us than we'd be 'matched'. Goodness it's so much less creepy than I'm making it sound (now I'll have to do another post on it just to explain better). So I started going through the speed dates in my head and remembering what the guys I talked to were like. I liked the 'idea' of some of they guys, they were really nice and fun to talk to but sometimes you just know that you aren't compatible. You know that if you were to go on the date that you'd be lying to the both of you so you pass on it because the 'idea' of the guy is better than the reality of what you and that date would be like.

I think it's the same with me being an interior design major. I loved the 'idea' of being an interior design major. In my head it was the perfect way to mix the best of two worlds, art and business. I'd be able to go through college saying I'm an interior design major. The idea of working at an architecture firm and doing huge projects was a great one. But I think I liked the 'idea' of being an interior designer more than I would actually like to be an interior designer. It just took me a while to figure that out.

I used to genuinely want to be an interior designer. I sure as heck wasn't expecting to ever begin to not want to be an interior designer. But then again I used to genuinely enjoy eating sandwiches of pickles and ketchup between two slices of cheese when i was little. I no longer enjoy eating those. Things change. It's a fact of life. 

I don't often say this but I think Marilyn Monroe said it pretty well:

"...sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

Now that I've told my mom and a couple friends what's going on my heart feels so much lighter. I'm amazed at how heavily this whole thing had been weighing on my heart. So I cried for 30 minutes and then I couldn't stop smiling. So this is what it feels like to surrender to God's will. I'd been praying about it a lot lately and just hoping that God would give me the strength to make this life changing decision.

I've talked about this before but God has a very unique-to-Cassi way of communicating with me. God starts by planting this little tiny thought inside my head. I tend to overthink things, it's who I am. I don't make split-second decisions and I like to weigh the pros and cons and worry worry worry. Then after I've done the worrying and weighing for weeks/months and shaking the idea of that little thought in my head, God comes up to me and slaps me in the face and I'm like whoa! And then I pull the trigger. Deep inside I know what to do but sometimes my trust isn't where it should be and I get scared until I hear Him say 'I'm right here and I've been telling you over and over again what to do. Why aren't you listening to Me?'

So this is me, listening. No I'm not going to enjoy the interior design students talking about me behind my back and no I'm not going to enjoy having to pay more money and be in school for more years. But God will provide and I will be humbled knowing that others won't think as highly of me anymore:

But he bestows a greater grace; therefore, it says: "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." - James 4:6

Before his downfall a man's heart is haughty, but humility goes before honors. - Proverbs 18:12

If you're out there and you're reading this I'd like to ask a favor. Would you please pray that everything will work out for the better? That this will help me to grow in humililty. That I will be more open to listening to and following God's will for me and that this change in majors will be for the better? Know that in return I will be praying for you.

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Exodus 20:7

My mom often likes to remind me of this little thing my cousin's daughter Ashlyn said once.

"I say Oh My Goodness because Oh My Gosh sounds too much like the one you're not supposed to say."


How simple is that?

"You shall not take the name of the LORD, your God, in vain. For the LORD will not leave unpunished him who takes his name in vain." Exodus 20:7

Day 18: A picture of your biggest insecurity

in-se-cure

[in-si-kyoor] 

–adjective

1. subject to fears, doubts, etc.; not self-confident or assured: an insecure person.

2. not confident or certain; uneasy; anxious: He was insecure about the examination.

3. not secure; exposed or liable to risk, loss, or danger: an insecure stock portfolio.

4. not firmly or reliably placed or fastened: an insecure ladder.

I guess that would make my biggest insecurity my future. I know I've got a couple years before I graduate but I get nervous about what I'm going to do after that all the time. Interior Design is a very limited field of study. There's a handful of career paths I can take and a ton of people vying for every position out there.  Sometimes I second guess myself, is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life? Is this what God is calling me to do with my life? Then I wonder if I'm second guessing myself because I'm nervous, nervous that I could fail, or that I could succeed more than I ever imagined. This quote always comes to mind when I think about my future:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

And I cant think of this quote without thinking of this scene from the movie Coach Carter:

So yes my future scares me, it crosses my mind constantly, but I know that God is there for me and that He knows the path that is best for me to take and I have to trust that He's preparing for me a future I can't even imagine. I'm reminded of that constantly, so here are a few verses from the New American Bible that help me when I feel just a little too insecure:

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 19:21 - Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the decision of the LORD that endures.

Romans 8:28 - We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

Psalm 37:37 - Observe the honest, mark the upright; those at peace with God have a future.

Proverbs 23:17-19 - Let not your heart emulate sinners, but be zealous for the fear of the LORD always; For you will surely have a future, and your hope will not be cut off. Hear, my son, and be wise, and guide your heart in the right way.

1 Corinthians 2:9 - But as it is written: "What eye has not seen, and ear has not heard, and what has not entered the human heart, what God has prepared for those who love him,"