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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Where You lead I will follow

I was hired to be on a parish team for Totus Tuus Wichita! 

The email about it came on a Wednesday and I had to have an answer by that Friday. I was happy that they hired me, really I was, but I just wasn't sure if that's what I was supposed to do. Actually I wasn't sure if that's what I wanted to do. You know how it works, I want what I want and I want it yesterday. Well, everything wasn't working out according to MY plan and if I couldn't have everything I wanted I didn't want any of it. Wow just typing that out makes me feel like an eight year old.

I had a decision to make, take another summer to work for and grow in Him, or go home and have a boring office job with a semi-active social life. I know the second option seems so enticing right? Maybe not.

It's so obvious now that I'm being called to do Totus Tuus again. I mean I had to actively decide to apply, fill out the application and drive to the interview. So what was holding me back? My selfishness, pride, jealousy, fear? All of the above. For a quick second I seriously considered sending an email back declining the position. I'm glad I didn't do that.

I took it to prayer, in adoration at 1 a.m. Thursday morning there I was before Christ begging asking for an answer, JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO! They say that if only you are silent you will hear His answer. Well I heard crickets. It wasn't until approximately 20 hours later while I sat at home watching some March Madness that He answered me. In the middle of watching a basketball game and looking through a book a piece of paper fell out, it read:

Where I am today is where He wants me to be.
Where He leads me tomorrow is where I will follow.

There it was, plain as day, the answer I had been looking for to a decision I had been struggling with. He heard me and He answered me. I remember sitting in the chapel on a Saturday morning during a Koinonia meeting when Msgr. Vince Krische said this and bells just started ringing in my head. I remember reaching over 3 people to the right and asking to borrow a pencil so I could write these two sentences down before they left my mind forever. Who knew that months ago when I decided to write it down on the back of a piece of paper and stick it inside of a book that it would be the way in which God would answer me.

For some He may speak in the silence of your heart, but He knows me better than that. You see it would simply be way too easy for me to sit there and listen and for Him to answer. No, He addresses me in an extremely personal way, tailored to my life. I multitask, to the extreme! So of course God would reveal himself to me while watching a basketball game, painting my nails checking my bracket and flipping through a book.

It's rather simple now. He wanted me to be in that very place going through that book so that He could answer me. He's leading me to Totus Tuus Wichita, all of the signs are pointing that direction and all I have to do is follow.

P.S. How perfect is it that the theme song to my favorite show is Where you Lead?


Rachel Claire said...

That's beautiful! Congratulations. Your receptivity to God's plan for your life is inspiring. :)

Cassi@FromaCatholicDaughter said...

Thank you! It's actually very freeing to let God do all of the planning for you!

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