There's Something Missing

Yesterday was Thursday and the first time that I saw my roommate all week, which as you may very well know was fine by me.

She recently confided in me that she had gotten in a fight with her dad over the amount of money she had been spending on things that didn't matter at school. I of course, sided with the dad on this one. Eating out 3 times a day when you've already paid for food through school, driving a mile out of your way to get a drink from QuikTrip before every class and making it a habit to spend upwards of $50 at Target every other day is grounds for my strong opinion on that.

When she came home yesterday toting 3 shopping bags I just had to turn around and roll my eyes. The words that continued out of her mouth went something like this (my thoughts in quotations):

I've had the worst week ever, I had to go to the hospital because there's something wrong with my back so now I'm on a bunch of medication. So that's why I haven't been here all week because I've been at home because that bed's more comfortable. I crashed my car and now I'm gonna have to get it fixed next week so I won't be able to drive all next week because it'll be in the shop(as the roommate in this situation I'm really looking forward to that, not. I may just have to find somewhere else to be all next week). My boyfriend (of like 3 weeks) broke up with me (for like the 3rd time) and so I went out and bought a new pair of high heels(she's not supposed to wear heels because she had surgery on her foot) a new outfit, and hair dye so that I could 'get him back' but I'm gonna make him work for it(yeah like she made him work for everything else?).

And I just couldn't help but think to myself; There is something missing in this girls life, and it's actually quite sad. What can you do when you see someone who doesn't know their own selfworth? Someone who reduces themselves to who their boyfriend is at the time, what they can buy or what they can do to make themselves a hotter commodity? In a trying time in her life like this week, when everything under the sun seemed to be going wrong she turned to material things. But how much more comforted would she feel if she turned to God? For Him to hold her in His arms and be reassured that everything woud be just fine. Christ loves her just as she is. Christ loves her a heck of a lot more than I even like her. But I guess that's the beautiful thing. I just wish she could see it, I want her to know how much she is loved just because she is her. She doesn't need to buy new outfits and dye her hair. She doesn't need cheetah print high heels, a fixed car or even a boyfriend because no matter what happens, no matter what she does, Christ will always love her.

All For You

This song has been appearing in my life quite a bit lately. Tonight at praise
& worship/adoration we were singing it and the words just really resonated with me. I've bolded the part that really hit me tonight. Sometimes it amazes me the language in which God chooses to communicate, He's so genius. I like to have prompts for my prayer, something which to focus on and the last paragraph gave me this. I've bolded the part that really hit me tonight.

Nothing compares toLife I have in You
Nothing of this world satisfies
So, I want to let go
I want to let You know
All that I have to give is Yours

Here I am
As gold to the fire
I will surrender to Your hand
To this place
Lord, I have come ready for Your touch

It's all for You
It's all for You
I'm letting go
I'm letting go

What is it in me
That hangs on for so long
Why do I fight the tears that come?
I work so hard to
Keep in control when
All that I want is to let go

I'll take this life
And lay it down
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
My hopes and dreams
Here at Your feet
I'm letting go
I'm letting go

I'll take this life and lay it down: It's no secret that I've been having troubles with my roommate lately. I'd like to say I've been bringing my struggles with her to God in prayer. I'm trying so hard to make this life work for me the way that I want it to work, but maybe He has another plan for it. God put her in my life for a reason and tonight I decided to do as the song said, I took my life and lay it down for God to pick it up and do with as he wishes. I'm going to try and watch Him work through me the way He knows is best.

My hopes and dreams here at your feet: I have hopes and dreams of having a big amazing family of my own, being a fabulous interior designer, creating the home of my dreams and having season tickets to KU basketball for the rest of my life! Tonight I tried to let go of them. If I'm living for my own hopes and dreams then I may be ignoring God's plan for me. Only He knows what I'm called for, and I don't want to be blinded by what I want and miss out on the opportunity He may be handing me. And I know, that His plans will be WAY better than anything that I could every imagine for myself.

Struggles with a Roommate

Let's just say that over the past 2 years I haven't had the best luck with roommates. I've been through 4, in 4 semesters!
My freshman year my first roommate Lizzy was fine and I could hold a conversation with her but we were so different. I loved sports and kept up with fashion, enjoyed hanging out with my friends and going to church. She was indy, a little hippy, liked to smoke hookah with her boyfriend and shopped at the thrift store. Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that it's just to show how different we were. I ended up moving after the semester because I didn't like the location of the dorm.

Second semester freshman year I moved to one of the nicest dorms on campus to a two person with my very own bathroom! That was exciting. My new roommate Bri was a sophomore from Chicago, I'm a small town girl from Home. She was a little TOO interested in fashion, spending her parents money on ridiculous clothes that definitely didn't cover enough of anything. She liked to party and I'd occasionally come home at night to find her and a guy 'cuddling' on her bed. I did like her company a bit more because we watched the same shows and listened to the same music so it was bearable, but I'm a night owl and she's an early bird so that was pretty difficult as well.

First semester sophomore year I decided to live in the dorms again against my better wishes. I chose a 4 bedroom with the hope that out of 4 I'd get at least 1 good roommate, well I did one better than that, I got 2!!! Unfortunately they were my suitemates not my room roommates. My room roommate Shae was a serious disappointment. She was from Tennessee, loved Jesus and her family and had lived in Kansas for 2 years. At first I thought we were going to be able to make it work, but it definitely didn't. Without getting into too much detail here she had some problems and had to leave a week early. Her mom and grandparents came up to move her stuff off and that's the last I saw of any of them.

Now on to the current roommate, Caileigh (I used to really like this name, now...never gonna happen). She's been my roommate for not even a 2 weeks and I've already learned that she's angry a LOT, has a poor relationship with her parents and her ex but not really ex boyfriend, curses like a sailor, and is a compulsive liar. She hates my GLEE music and the fact that I eat apples at night. 
I'm starting to think that I'm a magnet, or maybe it's me and someone else living with these same people would've had a totally different experience.

Oy vey!