I'd be lying to myself if I said I wasn't a little outraged when I read a link from the Glamour twitter account.
The question proposed was:
"Should I Consider Marrying a Guy Who's SUPER-Into His Church?"
Before I even read what came after this question I was already upset that there has come a point in our society where a man that is 'SUPER-Into His Church' would be a reason NOT to marry him. For me that would definitely go on the PRO side of the pro/con list. The first paragraph of her letter read like this:
"I’m in love with the MOST amazing man! We have so much in common, and the best part is, he accepts me for who I am.
Here’s my concern: He does a LOT of volunteer work through his church, which takes a lot of time from me."
Whoa now! Since when did volunteering become a bad thing?! She has this most amazing man. A man she shares so much in common with and a man that accepts her as she is.
So here is my problem with this entire thing: Why can't she accept him for who he is? Actually, why can't she accept him for who he is in HIM, our Lord. To have a fiance that is dedicated to God and willing to spend his life working for Him is a gift. Isn't this a trait that you'd want your husband to be able to pass down to your children. A husband that not only talks the talk but walks the walk?
I guess the most disheartening part of the whole thing was when she complained about how his volunteering takes time away from her. His life is dedicated to doing what God asks and hers is dedicated to doing what she asks. While he is worrying about those that are less fortunate she is worrying about herself.
I don't write about this to degrade her or to judge her as a person. In my Theology of the Body class this evening our instructor talked to us about judging. There are three things that people judge in this world and only two of them are okay.
You can judge words.
You can judge actions.
You cannot judge people.
He explained it like this: If you were a teacher and a child took a test and answered a question wrong you would have to mark it wrong. You would have to judge the words. If this same student threw a rock at another kid at recess and you saw him you would have to give him the appropriate punishment. You would judge his actions. You wouldn't however, judge the student. You would never go up to the student and tell him that he is a horrible person because you do not know his soul.
I don't judge this woman but I do judge her words. I'm not deeming her a horrible person, what she said was just very selfish. But she is a child of God and I hope that through her fiance's work in Him she will find God and His will and know that by working for Him her fiance is doing what is best for the both of them.
