My first Bright Maidens post Ever! Summer Reading

So I've been following the Bright Maiden's for a while now, ever since they started making their Tuesday posts. I've wanted to join in many times since the things they have been posting about have been really interesting.  Sometimes I'll even sit down and start typing away all of my thoughts but they just don't seem to flow, they feel forced and sometimes the posts are so awful I wouldn't even want to read it.

But I have long figured out that this blog is not my own, it's the Lord's. I am merely an instrument for His greater good. I have tried believe me, I have tried to write about what I want but every time it just seems dumb. And then that idea sparks from somewhere inside me and I write and I write until the post is done and I sit back, look at it and say 'huh?'. How did I do that? How did all of those thoughts flow so well together? Last month I tried to write about this and I couldn't write 3 comprehensive sentences!  Then I get that email, the one that says "Thank you for posting this, it's exactly what I needed to hear/see/understand at this exact moment.", and I see that it is all in His timing.

"I cannot do anything on my own" - John 5:30

So I try not to force things. I tried SO many times to write about Totus Tuus this summer. I tried before I left. I tried during training week. I tried during immersion week. I tried during our first week on our own. I tried during the break. I tried when there was 1 week left. And then Totus Tuus was over, I sat down and it just came, and I knew He had kept me from writing all summer so that I could focus on the work He had set before me. I really wanted to write. All summer I wished that I was near a computer so that I could blog. But I realized that I was being kept from blogging to concentrate on something greater. God had called me to teach Totus Tuus and he was calling me to be Totus Tuus(Totally Yours) to Him and to those kids.

But now Totus Tuus is over and I must find what I am being called to. For the first time I am being called to write a Bright Maiden's post. It may be a bit late but it's all in God's time. Ive spent the past couple days catching up on the books that everyone else has recommended and I found a common theme. Books for Catholics written by Catholics, and that's awesome! This summer however I dove into some Christian books written by non-Catholics. As I warned myself before I read them, do so with one eye open for things that would lead me away from the church, I would also warn others.
 

The first book I read this summer was The Shack by William P. Young. Now although there are some definite parts of the book that I disagree with as a Catholic there were some amazing things I learned from it. Since I could never write a review even close to the caliber of Fr.Robert Barron's stop by and read it!

The 2nd book I read was Captivating: Unveiling the mystery of a woman's soul by John & Stasi Eldredge. It talks about how every woman has 3 core desires: to be romanced, to play a role in her own adventures & to display beauty. In an age where feminism tries to take everything that's lovely about being a woman & turn it into something negative I enjoyed reading about how I was created as a feminine being. There are a couple of things to watch out for however. Stasi talks about her Catholic upbringing in a less than flattering light. They also point to Eve as the woman we should all look up to. I was disappointed they didn't take the opportunity to show Mary, perfect and without sin, in this role instead.

I literally had Heaven is For Real by Todd Burpo started and finished in under 10 hours. This 4 year old boy describes heaven as if he had just finished reading the book of Revelation earlier that day. I found this particularly interesting/comforting/pleasing since so much of the Catholic Mass can be found in the book of Revelation that heaven would be so similar. He also takes extra care to point out for us Catholics such things like the whereabouts of Mary, at Jesus' feet or standing beside Him, and that Jesus still loves Mary like a mother, as we believe.

I wouldn't necessarily keep my first kiss until I was standing at the altar like Joshua Harris writes about in I Kissed Dating Goodbye.There's a part in this book where it is Josh's wedding day & he has just watched his beautiful bride walk down the aisle. They're looking at each other when all of a sudden every woman from Josh's past walks out of the crowd & takes his hand. His bride looks terrified. Now he has to tell her that he's sorry but he's already given parts of his heart to all of these women & she only gets what's left. It's a book of truly guarding your heart, of long and deep friendship before relationships and conquering modern dating traps.

Last but not least the most influential book I've read all summer, The 5 Love Languages:singles edition by Gary Chapman. Gary presents the idea that there are 5 ways in which people express love; Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Most people have one dominant love language which is the way they show and receive love. I've since learned that I have two dominant love languages after scoring an 11 on both Quality Time and Physical Touch. It makes so much sense since I generally do not feel a lot of love if people do not want to spend their time with me. It's made me more sensitive to showing my family and friends their primary love language. Take the test at 5lovelanguages.com and tell me what language you are!

Check out what the other Bright Maidens had to suggest for reading here!Peace and happy reading!

I said TOTUS TUUS to the LORD this summer!

I'm back!!!

Totus Tuus will do this to you!

Whether I can believe it or not, I am done working Totus Tuus for the summer! It seems like I just started but it's been 9.5 weeks since my dad drove my duffel bag and I to Wichita, KS to hand my summer over to our Lord teaching a parish summmer catechetical program.

Team 4!

Teamies: Nick, Jacob, Loretta and I

This summer I gave Him my waking hours, my sleeping hours, my I wish I was sleeping hours. I gave Him my control, my desire to be acknowledged and my distaste for small talk with strangers. I gave Him my appetite, my hatred for onions and my ability to clear my plate no matter what was on it. I gave Him my want to wear more than 7 outfits all summer, and my hopelessly dirty feet. I gave Him my most prayerful times and the 7:45am chapel time where prayer was the last thing I wanted to be doing. I gave Him my voice singing during adoration and yelling over 130 children. I even gave Him my love for social media and blogging and did without it! I am proud to say that I said Totus Tuus to the Lord this summer. 

I had Justin Bieber Fever in this skit. Definitely singing One Less Lonely Girl.

The training week cup washing ladies and our cute aprons!

But even after giving Him all that and more, I know that I couldn't have done it without His help. I'm more impressed with how much God taught me this summer than with anything I could have done on my own. He kept me sane and showed me how strong in my convictions I can stand with Him in my corner. With Christ I could be more patient when I asked for the opportunity and ability to practice it. In seeing Christ in others I could fight the urge to blow up when I was annoyed or tired or grumpy. Because I was doing the Lords work I was capable of so much more.

Totus Tuus bowling with Alex!

Me and Kirsten, University of Kansas representing!

It's like they say:

Nobody said it was going to be easy, they just said it was going to be worth it.

Teammie Human Sundae

Who puts fruit loops on their ice cream sundae's really?

And totally worth it it has been. He blessed me with all of the amazing people I encountered this summer. Waking up every morning at approximately 7:36 to leave the house at 7:40 so we could have meditation, pray morning prayer and the rosary as a team was worth it to grow in my spiritual life. To let the Lord be the source of my energy when at 9:00am every morning a swarm of kids from 1st-6th grade would pour in the door waiting for me to acknowledge them, listen to their stories, and show them they were important to me. The hours of classes during training week while I was dog tired covering the stories of Adam & Eve, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David and Christ along with the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary at a college level were worth it when I saw the wheels start to click in the minds of my 5th graders every week. Wanting to take a 4 hour nap every afternoon but often skipping it to have Sonic Happy Hour/Glee watching/Pigeon Story Reading/Swimming time to create a bond outside of work with my team was worth the exhaustion I often felt when it came time for the 7th-12th grade program at night. And by 10pm it took all I had not to let my head collapse on my pillow before remembering that God is the reason I made it through the day in the first place without keeling over an dying, and to give Him some time before sleep, but it was all worth it. And even though I like to say I couldn't do it one more day... if they needed me tomorrow I'd say yes in a heart beat.

Christine, Me, Alex and Alice during training week!

Again on our last night together at the end of summer retreat!

The Crowded Catholic Cafeteria

Cafeteria Catholic

I'm sure you've probably heard the term before. You know how a cafeteria works, you grab your tray and go through the line picking up only what you'd like.

It's hard for me to see the 'cafeteria Catholics' who think they have the right to decide which teachings of the Church they're going to accept and which they're going to reject. It's especially hard in today's secular and overly sexual world where those who are 'Catholic' vocally disagree with the Church's stance on controversial issues like birth control, premarital sex, cohabitation, abortion, divorce and remarriage. This shouldn't come as big news to you, but the Catholic Church is not a democracy, and thank the Lord for that!

JPII, like always, says it best:

“It is sometimes reported that a large number of Catholics today do not adhere to the teaching of the Catholic Church on a number of questions, notably sexual and conjugal morality, divorce and remarriage. Some are reported as not accepting the clear position on abortion. It has to be noted that there is a tendency on the part of some Catholics to be selective in their adherence to the Church’s moral teaching. It is sometimes claimed that dissent from the magisterium is totally compatible with being a “good Catholic,” and poses no obstacle to the reception of the Sacraments. This is a grave error that challenges the teaching of the Bishops in the United States and elsewhere.” - Pope JPII

Today's cafeteria Catholics are not the first to refuse the teachings of Christ:

Then many of his disciples who were listening said, "This saying is hard; who can accept it?" Since Jesus knew that his disciples were murmuring about this, he said to them, "Does this shock you? What if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? It is the spirit that gives life, while the flesh is of no avail. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But there are some of you who do not believe." Jesus knew from the beginning the ones who would not believe and the one who would betray him. And he said, "For this reason I have told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by my Father." As a result of this, many (of) his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him. Jesus then said to the Twelve, "Do you also want to leave?" Simon Peter answered him, "Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God." -John 6:60-69

The Catholic Church says that the Pope is the Vicar of Christ. He stands "in Persona Christi" in the Person of Christ for us here on earth.

In the ecclesial service of the ordained minister, it is Christ himself who is present to his Church as Head of his Body, Shepherd of his flock, high priest of the redemptive sacrifice, Teacher of Truth. This is what the Church means by saying that the priest, by virtue of the sacrament of Holy Orders, acts in persona Christi Capitis:

It is the same priest, Christ Jesus, whose sacred person his minister truly represents. Now the minister, by reason of the sacerdotal consecration which he has received, is truly made like to the high priest and possesses the authority to act in the power and place of the person of Christ himself (virtute ac persona ipsius Christi).

Christ is the source of all priesthood: the priest of the old law was a figure of Christ, and the priest of the new law acts in the person of Christ. (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1548)

Much like those early disciples rejected the Truth that Jesus was teaching, today's cafeteria Catholics are rejecting what His Church is teaching through the Pope.

I know that there have been times in my past that I've doubted and questioned and tested my limits with the Church's teachings much like the disciples in The Bread of Life Discourse, but I have come to believe like the disciples, that Christ has the words of eternal life.

What Christ says goes. Since the Pope is the Vicar of Christ, what the Pope says goes.

We're not running a buffet here. You can't just go in and get what you want. We are at the wedding feast, and even if it were onions (which I hate) that the Lord were serving me I wouldn't be refusing them. So why do some refuse His Truth today, even if that Truth means eating onions?

Here's what I've learned since starting this blog:

It's not easy to have opinions that go against what some of my friends and family believe and practice. Sometimes people that I love may not agree with what I have to say, or might be offended, but I know:

"be firm, steadfast, always fully devoted to the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." - 1 Corinthians 15:58

When I die and God willing go to Heaven and meet Him at the gates and He asks me, "Why didn't you stand up for Me and My Church? Why didn't you let them know that you disagreed with them because it was bad for them, goes against My teachings, My Truth and My Church?"

I sure don't want to have to answer that question with, "because I didn't want to offend anyone" or "it was just too hard."

Fixed to Comment

Since I'm a noob to this whole blogging thing (I've made it past the 1 month mark! woohoo!) it will take me a while to work out the format to be exactly as I want it.

A friend of mine contacted me saying that she couldn't comment on any of my posts. So I've fixed that! There's now an option to comment as Anonymous if you don't have a Google account or any of the others listed there. Feel free to add your name if you want but don't feel pressured to. I'd love to hear your feedback, believe me I would!
                                                                                                                                                        

Since that wasn't much of a post I've decided to add this little snippet!

T-Rob is playing basketball again! woohoo!

Union and Communion

Sometimes you've just got to take a step back from blogging and live.

I guess you could say thats what I've been doing the past few days. So often I get too caught up in my life to actually live. In what I have to do next and what I'm doing after that and when I'm gonna study for what and who I have a meeting with where and what time and make sure I don't forget!

I get so stuck planning my life that I forget to live it! I forget to take time to be in community and spend time with others. That is after all what the Lord made us for right? To be in union and communion with Him and others!

So this week I've found myself getting out of class early enough twice already to go to Mass and Confession. To be in union and communion with Him.

I've also taken the time to be with friends, watching the KU game, playing Yahtzee, doing hw, swapping life stories and watching you-tube videos. To be in union and communion with others. 

None of this would be possible without Him.

I can never be reminded of that enough.

Why do we blog?

Thursday in my Creative Nonfiction Writing class we discussed blogging.

These were some of the questions proposed to us in class.

Why do we write? We write for ourselves not for anyone else, one girl brought up.

What's the point? Another girl mentioned that what you're going through and choosing to write about may inadvertently help someone else with what is going on in their life. 

Who really wants to read the random things happening in my life anyways? This is a question I'd always had. Blogging had always interested me but who would be interested in me and what I had to say? Everything was so random, every blogging site out there will tell you to pick one topic and stick with it. My brain isn't hardwired that way, to only think about one topic when I'm blogging.

My professor brought up a good point when he said What you're writing about isn't random to you. These are things that are impacting your life and they're important. Nothing that you ever write about can truly be random because it was a thought you were having that was most likely brought to you by another thought.

Which brings me to this: Why do I blog?

I've tried before and failed miserably, just giving up because I wasn't getting what I had hoped for out of it. Now I've kind of listened to the pros, and picked a topic that I like, a topic that is broad, a topic that I care about: GOD.

God is everywhere and that's why it's so easy to write about Him. He is in every facet of my life wether I like it or not. Now that I'm blogging I'm starting to look for him more often in my day to day life. It's a beautiful blessing.